Drakengard 3 = Madoka but more gross

A long, long time ago I played Drakengard for the PS2. As a dragon enthusiast and a long-time lover of storylines with bad endings for everyone, I loved it. The gameplay was Real Bad and I didn’t even care. I kept playing, determined to achieve every fucked-up ending. The game did not disappoint.

When Drakengard 2 came out, disappointment was rampant. Apparently there was a decision to make Drakengard 2 the opposite of its predecessor in tone, so it was brightly colored, and while the stories do end up with some pretty bummer endings, it’s not immediately apparent right off the bat that the world is Fucked Up. So I tried a little bit of it and, disappointed, left it where it lay. I never went back to the Drakengard series (or Nier) because of the disappointment of the second installment.

A few months ago I watched Super Best Friends play through Nier, because I’d always been kind of curious about it, and laying in bed eating food and watching other people play games is Kind Of My Jam. It was a fun playthrough to watch (although the gameplay convinced me that I would probably never play it myself – I’m bad at bullet hell) and I enjoyed the experience. I noticed that they also had a video of Drakengard 3, so I checked it out.

Drakengard 3 was not a long-form Let’s Play, just an hourish of footage from the beginning of the game, but it was enough to have me Totally Intrigued, so I looked up a YouTube video with all the FMV/story segments (because let’s be real am I going to put in the hours for all those endings probably not), and lay in bed transfixed, watching it for five hours (minus the nap I had to have in the middle because of Brain Problems).

It’s a bummer. It’s a Huge Bummer. It’s uncomfortable. They talk about sex. There is talk of sex with a boy who appears very underage although (SPOILERS) he turns out to be a magically transformed dove, so I’m actually not sure about the legality and/or morality here. The Wikipedia article mentioned that Drakengard 3 is influenced by Puella Magi Madoka Magica and it shows in the weird juxtaposition of Cute Anime Girl Tropes and Psycho Anime Girl Tropes. Yandere isn’t quite the word, but it’s close. Anyway it captivated me and despite the fact that I just spent FIVE HOURS watching the story elements I’m thinking real hard about actually picking it up and playing it, because I’m kind of in love with it. It is the for-real Waifu Wars of my dreams.

God, I am such a fuckin’ weeb.

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