More Dark Souls, and Anxiety

I played more Dark Souls III today. I did better, I think. Beat the second boss on my second try. Made some progress. Helped out Siegward and we killed a demon together. It was a nice moment. Siegward might be my favorite NPC.

Tomorrow I will return to work after having essentially a month on Leave of Absence for my depression which had gotten unmanageable. I am nervous. I don’t feel the desire to hurt myself, which is good, because I was struggling pretty hard with that before, but my anxiety is winding itself up pretty hard.

Part of me is expecting resentment from my co-workers. And there will probably be some of that. But I can’t let it stop me from living my life, and to live I have to make money, and to make money I have to go to work.

I guess all I can do is spend my free time trying to bolster my skills so that I can write a novel and sell a billion copies and never have to go to work again.

I’m trying to do an art thing, a writing thing, and an exercise thing every day. The first two are easier than the last. But I’m going to keep picking myself up and taking a run at it.

I am so scared, I’m shaking, light-headed. But I can do this. I’ve done it before. I can do it again.

Fuck, if I can play Dark Souls…

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